The Official Not-Joke Thread

[Yamboyz1]

This is just a thread where you can post all of your hilarious not-jokes.

I'll start it off with a few.

(NOTE: Put the answers in spoilers)

What's worse than a worm in your apple?

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The holocaust.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

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Because he got hit by a bus.

[kaos78414]

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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cancer.

[FlowerChild]

Just how off topic and useless can threads get before I start getting upset?

[walker_boh_65]

Just how off topic and useless can threads get before I start getting upset?

I gonna take a shot in the dark here and say that this might have passed that line.

[ThatOneDude]

For fear of this possibly getting locked down, I need to share some.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

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It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.





What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

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" I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.

[Stormweaver]

Why was a thread locked and the poster banned?

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Because he continued to post unconstructive, far from funny threads relentlessly in the off topic section, including mod reviews by the earrape brothers and a few being advertisements for mods that are inherently incompatable with BTW.

I'm not sure I get this 'not-joke' thing, but I tried.

[kaos78414]

I thought they were funny, but I have a morbid sense of humor I suppose. Sorry if I offended anyone with my reply :(

[ThatOneDude]

He continued to post unconstructive, far from funny threads relentlessly in the off topic section, including mod reviews by the earrape brothers and a few being advertisements for mods that are inherently incompatable with BTW.

In his own defense, in order,

1) Technically, the fact that you don't find some of his posts funny is just an opinion. Other people may find them funny.

2) Again, some people don't find them earraping, that's an opinion. Also, the fact that he posted a video on a mod he was sharing in the topic that he posted of that mod isn't exactly a bad thing. In fact, it could've been considered constructive- he didn't explain what the mod what fully about in his post so he posted a video of the mod being demonstrated as well in the same post to help us fully understand. Some persons would've preferred to read the forum post instead of watch the video, so he shared that with us too, but for some people who maybe don't necessarily know English very well or for what reason you may he posted the video that would've been helpful even without the forum post too.

3) I most definitely don't think that he was advertising mods incompatible with Better Than Wolves, man. I think he was just sharing cool, interesting mods that even though incompatible with Better Than Wolves are still kind of neat and worth sharing with our awesome community.

[FlowerChild]

Because he continued to post unconstructive, far from funny threads relentlessly in the off topic section, including mod reviews by the earrape brothers and a few being advertisements for mods that are inherently incompatable with BTW.

Don't forget having a troll-face avatar that constantly brings into question the intent behind his posts.

[ThatOneDude]

That awkward moment when you post a reply that you thought offended someone else really was directed to you...

And sorry if you find found my avatar offensive and/or rude, I'll change it. I changed it.

And in the spirit of the thread,

How many old men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

[morvelaira]

I'm not going to say off the bat that the OP here was trolling. My poor, assaulted sense of hope would die if that's the case, especially after that first not-joke.

Instead, I'm just going to hope that they are an extremely young, or socially disadvantaged person, who just doesn't understand what his actions do to the rest of us. Please, dear OP, get out of the house more and learn to interact with human beings.

[Yamboyz1]

Look, I honestly don't see what I did wrong here. I feel like I just made a thread containing some good "not-jokes" that I wanted to share with you and if you had wanted to you could've posted some of your own not-jokes. I don't know how this was received in any other way, but apparently it's made a few people mad and this thread has gone off-topic by now, so... Lock down if must. :/

Also, I don't understand how it's possible to cross the "off topic" line when posting in the off-topic section :P

[whynocheese]

Yamboyz1 It is probably because not only do many people not take humor in them, it is also that your joke's punchlines are offensive, sorry but this is the kind of world we live in and if you choose do not abide by societal norms then you should expect criticism often harsh. Hopefully this gets locked and no bad feelings will be exchanged, this after all was probably an honest mistake.

Pro Tip: Do not on any anonymous forum use any offensive jokes as you won't know who will be reading them until too late.

[walker_boh_65]

A rare few of these jokes are funny when told in person, with the perfect tone of voice, but in just text, these can EASILY be taken the wrong way.

[whynocheese]

A rare few of these jokes are funny when told in person, with the perfect tone of voice, but in just text, these can EASILY be taken the wrong way.

Exactly.

[Yamboyz1]

Ah, I unserstand now.

[whynocheese]

Glad you do and thankfully no one had to get angry.

[badmojo98]

why'd the boy fall off his bike?

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because someone threw a fridge at him

why couldn't the baby walk through the door?

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because it had a javelin through it's head

why'd jesus get crucified?

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he was a black arab jew. i'm surprised he made it past childhood

[rhacer]

why'd the boy fall off his bike?


why couldn't the baby walk through the door?


why'd jesus get crucified?

Wasn't there just a conversation about some things being offensive?

I have an incredibly thick skin, but two of these are horrible.

Edited to remove the "punchlines."

[Stormweaver]

why'd jesus get crucified?

Can we consider this my first formal request for a lock and ban? Bad taste is one thing, heavily implied racism another entirely.

[morvelaira]

why'd jesus get crucified?

Can we consider this my first formal request for a lock and ban? Bad taste is one thing, heavily implied racism another entirely.

I second the request.

[whynocheese]

why'd jesus get crucified?

Can we consider this my first formal request for a lock and ban? Bad taste is one thing, heavily implied racism another entirely.

Sad the thread couldn't just die it has to be killed but Storm is right if people insist on being highly racist, and plain prejudiced then well stop it before it gets ugly.

*third*

[Caboose]

Consider this a fourth.

I mean, c'mon, this isn't funny, this is just terrible, surely we can stay above Family Guy's level, right?

[whynocheese]

Is this where these ungodly jokes came from? Then by all means lock this thread please.

[obl1terat1ion]

make this a fifth request for a lock and ban lets try to keep off topic above 4chan level shall we?