Things are changing for me

[TheGatesofLogic]

So i met someone recently. She's beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, and the most perfect person i have met in my life. I can't imagine my life without her, and i hope to god she feels the same about me. As some of you may know I have been working on my thesis in an effort to get my PhD. She has been through the same, as she got her PhD last month, and she has supporting my work all the way through.

This wouldn't change much in my life if it weren't for her chosen passion. You see, my SO is a psychologist, and her dissertation topic, and focus in her field conflicts more substantially with my life than you might imagine. My SO focuses on addictions, and in that she focuses primarily on compulsive behavior surrounding interactive audio-video stimuli; in other words, video game addiction.

Now i care about her, more than any other thing in the world, and i would give up anything for her, but she understands that it isn't that easy. She had a brother who she says as quite similar to me, and he took his life and threw it out the window by pursuing his addiction; he recently died of seizure he had while playing World of Warcraft. I will probably be appearing less and less often here from now on, I've come to accept her views on video games as undoubtable and I have promised her to work on this, for her. Although my appearances here will be more and more infrequent, I just want to say that it was a good run. I love you guys, and although it sounds mushy I will honestly miss this community. I'll still be around for a bit yet, but I will not and cannot lose someone as perfect as her to something as ridiculous as this. Thanks everybody for making the experience amazing, and thanks for all the good times FlowerChild

- TheGatesofLogic

[casinodoug]

wish you luck man :) and hope you don't need it

[Prof_Ion]

Now Gates I completely understand How you feel with this girl. I myself have many times been willing to give things up for my girlfriend. Keep this one thing in mind. If you change yourself and give up parts of yourself for her, and things do not turn out well in the end you will be in a lost and confusing spiral of possibly not knowing who you are. Gates your are an intelligent man, and gameing addiction is a big thing in this day and age, but keep in mind if it makes you happy do it. At the same time it may not be the same for you. I know for a fact if I dropped gaming I would be bored and lost. I would lose my best friends. (being my best friends are part of this community) You may not feel the same. Just keep this in mind. I wish you the best of luck my friend! Always keep in mind this community is your family and I am sure many others feel the same. So just be sure to write now and again so we know how your doing! :D

Prof_Ion

[FlowerChild]

Best of luck and more power to you man :)

I've certainly had run-ins with what I consider to be a few cases of dangerous game addiction over the course of my career, which i guess is to be expected given my chosen trade.

Just please remember to stay true to yourself. Extreme behavior comes in many forms, most of them dangerous, and nothing can be more addictive than new found love.

[TheGatesofLogic]

Now Gates I completely understand How you feel with this girl. I myself have many times been willing to give things up for my girlfriend. Keep this one thing in mind. If you change yourself and give up parts of yourself for her, and things do not turn out well in the end you will be in a lost and confusing spiral of possibly not knowing who you are. Gates your are an intelligent man, and gameing addiction is a big thing in this day and age, but keep in mind if it makes you happy do it. At the same time it may not be the same for you. I know for a fact if I dropped gaming I would be bored and lost. I would lose my best friends. (being my best friends are part of this community) You may not feel the same. Just keep this in mind. I wish you the best of luck my friend! Always keep in mind this community is your family and I am sure many others feel the same. So just be sure to write now and again so we know how your doing! :D

Prof_Ion

The thing is man, she isn't forcing me to do it, she didn't even tell me to do it, what really caused me to make this decision was going to her brother's funeral and realizing the depth i've reached.

[Prof_Ion]

Now Gates I completely understand How you feel with this girl. I myself have many times been willing to give things up for my girlfriend. Keep this one thing in mind. If you change yourself and give up parts of yourself for her, and things do not turn out well in the end you will be in a lost and confusing spiral of possibly not knowing who you are. Gates your are an intelligent man, and gameing addiction is a big thing in this day and age, but keep in mind if it makes you happy do it. At the same time it may not be the same for you. I know for a fact if I dropped gaming I would be bored and lost. I would lose my best friends. (being my best friends are part of this community) You may not feel the same. Just keep this in mind. I wish you the best of luck my friend! Always keep in mind this community is your family and I am sure many others feel the same. So just be sure to write now and again so we know how your doing! :D

Prof_Ion

The thing is man, she isn't forcing me to do it, she didn't even tell me to do it, what really caused me to make this decision was going to her brother's funeral and realizing the depth i've reached.

In that case just remember what FC said about staying true to you, and you should do great. I will defiantly miss having you around. It is always sad to say goodbye. Farewell man enjoy life and be sure to write. :)

[magikeh]

<3 We love you too man, keep coming in and i'll always have a batch of cookies ready for yeh.. well either here or on the IRC. Good luck with this relationship and keep chuggin along with that PHD!! (also you should prob try to make things teleport into other things.. just because yenno nukes :) )

[SterlingRed]

Good luck! As a newly wed, I can say balancing personal interest time in a committed relationship is not easy. It's something that gets better as you go along if both people involved are committed to creating a new definition of what "normal" life looks like and that it's based on compromises and not entirely one sided.
Best wishes to you man!

[TheGatesofLogic]

Good luck! As a newly wed, I can say balancing personal interest time in a committed relationship is not easy. It's something that gets better as you go along if both people involved are committed to creating a new definition of what "normal" life looks like and that it's based on compromises and not entirely one sided.
Best wishes to you man!

While I may be in love with her, no way in hell is marriage an actual thought in my mind yet, that shit scares me.

[SterlingRed]

While I may be in love with her, no way in hell is marriage an actual thought in my mind yet, that shit scares me.

Managing time spent on games or other interests is relevant to any level of relationship. It's like FC says with limited development time getting the most bang for the buck. Free time is limited, it's important to prioritize it to the things or relationships that are most important.
I was certainly not trying to imply you should get hitched haha. It is certainly scary even now sometimes. :-)

[Mr_Hosed]

Died from a seizure? Unless you have an underlying condition (epilepsy for instance) how does one cause that to happen? Very sad. My heart goes out to your SO.

I have some experience in "gaming addiction" so I had to respond to this. For me, I was using all forms of media (TV, Movies, & Games) for 24 - 36 hours straight with breaks for food (when hungry) and sleep (when exhausted) and not much else for about 2 years.

I personally really despise the term "gaming addiction". It confuses how best to treat what I call behavioral crutches. Behavioral crutches (such as "gaming addiction") are coping mechanisms we turn too to hide (or at least not address) deeper psychological problems with-in ourselves; depression being a large part of those problems from what I've personally seen (in myself and others).

What worked for me and I'd recommend to anyone looking to address similar problems is to find a technique that doesn't just focus on the behavior, but looks for the underlying cause and addresses that. The technique I found that worked best is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) combined with hypnosis. You'll feel like an idiot doing it, but it works.

I wish you great success in your new relationship and finding balance in your life.

[tedium]

don't listen to anyone but your own heart. you're the one that has to live with your decisions, and something tells me this girl is a lot more addictive that a video game. but i guess that's gonna be your field of expertise hey ;)

i never spoke to you before gates of logic, and i probably never will again, so let me say congratulations and enjoy. love is awesome :)

[Xeo]

I hope you find a way to balance things in your life, whatever form that takes up in the end. The fact that you can make the decision to give up (or slow down) gaming shows how devoted you are to your SO and I hope she realizes it! It must have been shocking to lose someone you know to WoW, we always think stuff like that is harmless until someone gets hurt. I hope you start moving on the right path man! :)

[devak]

I wish you good luck with everything and all, but also i'd like to share a word of wisdom i recently read in a comic.

Some people hold Lord of the Rings marathons where they watch 9+ hours of film in one go. Some people spend all weekend watching anything football (what some call soccer). Some people read a book in the train every single day. But when a highly anticipated game comes out (GTA V), and people play it quite a bit, it's suddenlly all addiction.

I hope your girlfriend understands that there are those people that game a lot, for fun and entertainment but also for challenge. What some people do with Sudoku or reading a WhoDunIt or playing chess or whatever.

May you continue to be able to play a healthy but satisfying amount of BTW.

[TheGatesofLogic]

I wish you good luck with everything and all, but also i'd like to share a word of wisdom i recently read in a comic.

Some people hold Lord of the Rings marathons where they watch 9+ hours of film in one go. Some people spend all weekend watching anything football (what some call soccer). Some people read a book in the train every single day. But when a highly anticipated game comes out (GTA V), and people play it quite a bit, it's suddenlly all addiction.

I hope your girlfriend understands that there are those people that game a lot, for fun and entertainment but also for challenge. What some people do with Sudoku or reading a WhoDunIt or playing chess or whatever.

May you continue to be able to play a healthy but satisfying amount of BTW.

thanks man, an thanks for the support everybody! Devak you hit it right on the spot regarding my play time. I beleive that the way i'm handling it will actually mean more BTW play time, but less overall gaming oddly enough, since there are certain games that i've decided i ought to give up entirely or risk a relapse.

BTW's mechanics actually prevent me from being addicted to it to a large extent, as i typically stop playing for a bit if i die.